I entitled this particular blog with words from “The Book of Ecclesiastes – Chapter 3.” Yes, there is a time for everything. . .
“For everything there is a season and a time for every activity under heaven.”
Just a couple of days ago on July 10, 2025, I was invited to read from this book of “Ecclesiastes” verses 1-8 at a Funeral Mass for a precious friend who had just passed. That precious friend knew how to love. . .not just an ordinary love but in a “heavenly love.”
And so. . .I dedicate this blog to “Nick” and to his family and the friends he left behind. . .
There are no coincidences here on earth. That day I was to read was the anniversary of my marriage to my husband 54 years ago. I thought of the song that we chose for our “first dance.” It was the song from the movie, “Romeo and Juliet” – “A Time for Us.” It was more than a “coincidence” that the reading was about “time.”
What is this “time” that we have been given here on earth? It certainly is a “time” which is appointed by God.
“A time to be born, and a time to die.”
For some of us that “time” can be very short and for some longer than we could have ever imagined!
What do we do with this gift of time?
I’ve been mulling that over for the last couple of days since Nick’s funeral and burial. I’ve also been mulling over how Nick lived.
Nick “lived love” and after meeting his niece and his nephew, I understood that they learned this lesson tremendously from their Uncle. I also understood that they must have learned it from their parents as well – Nick’s siblings.
Who was this man named “Nick?”
Nick was surely a “Spark of Love” and I was drawn to him immediately upon the first meeting. How could you not be! Just look at his face above as he was carrying Our Lady of Fatima in a procession. One knew he was truly transported to a place of peace. He was surely feeling the love of the Mother that he was carrying.
And so – I met him somewhere around 1997 when we were in formation to become “Third Order Carmelites.”
You might be wondering what is a Lay Carmelite? To give credence to Nick’s life….I offer this definition:
“Lay Carmelites” are lay people who share in the mission of the Carmelite Order. The call to Carmel is a call to seek God’s will in the ordinary circumstances of everyday life. This roots a lay Carmelite in a love of those with whom they live and work, in the search for God’s presence in all circumstances and in solidarity with God’s people everywhere.” (Provincial statues of the Provinces of the Most Pure Heart of Mary and Saint Elias P62, #1)
“Every Lay Carmelite is like a spark of love thrown into the forest of life!
They must be able to enflame anyone who approaches them.”
(Lay Carmelite Rule Chapter 11 #44)
Never a conversation would end without Nick lovingly repeating the words of St. Padre Pio – “Pray, Hope and Don’t Worry!”
And the golden word he spoke always was – TRUST!!!!!!
Nick didn’t just “mouth” those words in idle conversation – but he lived them. And because he lived them. . .he gave all those who came into his presence a “transfusion of God’s love” and the most serene smile that a soul can give on earth to another.
He lived and breathed God. This man was the “real deal” as my husband would say.
This “man” didn’t try to give you speeches nor try to convince you to believe in his God or the love of the Blessed Mother that he had. Dripping that love into puddles all around him – you, too, were standing in that “puddle of love.” He just had that way about him – an innocent child of God.
St. John of the Cross – the Carmelite Doctor of the Church tells us the following words of wisdom:
“In the evening of life, we will be judged on love alone.”
I believe I could be so bold as to say that those who knew Nick in this life here on earth could say –
He was “love.” I would also be bold to say that he fell into the arms of his God…because he lived love.
Why would I be so convicted of these words?
Concrete evidence!
It was when I met his nephew Luigi and his niece Rosemarie. They are children of his brother and his sister. Apparently the whole family was schooled in the “love” that St. John speaks of above.
I saw how Rosemarie travelled by plane to get here and be present to her dying Uncle. She took charge with her cousin Luigi who travelled by car from another state. They both showed not only their concern and care to Nick but a “divine manifestation of love.”
They were both so very present. They were both “breathing love” upon their Uncle Nick.
Where did they learn that from? Who witnessed that to them?
Surely their parents but also their Uncle. He must have shown great love to both of them. A true genuine love and a “presence” to them – not only in a physical way but in the “heart” way. One knows when they are truly loved – don’t they? And then one greatly wants to return that love.
One has to know they are loved by the other.
Words are useless….
it’s our actions that profess our love.
The picture above speaks profoundly to my heart and I hope it does to those who get to read this blog. Nick understood the “love” that Jesus had for His Blessed Mother and the “love” that She had for Her Son. We know it as “sacrificial love.”
“Sacrificial love is an unselfish form of love where one puts the needs and well being of others before their own, often involving personal sacrifices. It is characterized by selflessness and is seen as a foundation for deep emotional connections in relationships.”
Nick took that love and ran with it. His nephew Luigi and his niece Rosemarie also ran with it.
Where did they run?
To their families, to friends, neighbors and to all who cross their paths – but they also ran with it to their Uncle here in New York – to show him the love that he poured out upon them here in this life on earth.
That’s what it is all about – LOVE. What a goal for us to attain – to love like that!
It’s all about the “heart.” It’s all about the “time” that we have here and how we use it. Nick had a selfless love! His thoughts were always on the other and that meant “you.”
His first words were always “how are you?” He would ask about your life and what was happening – truly interested in “you!”
He was a “listener in love” with you! He would gaze at your face with the most beautiful look of love. I can say with all conviction – being in Nick’s presence you understood what it was to be like – to be gazed and loved upon by Jesus!
Nick just cared about you – he gave you “his precious gift of time” in such a way that you knew he truly loved you – never rushing off but loving you in the “time” he had here on earth. What a gift and blessing to have received.
It’s so easy in this world of busy-ness that we live in that we can lose sight how precious is the “time’ we have with each other.
Yes…there is a time to be born and a time to die. Let us never lose sight of those words of wisdom from the Book of Ecclesiastes – Chapter 3.
Nick
We will miss you greatly here on earth
but we know that you will be like our Carmelite Sister – St. Therese
spreading your love and prayers upon us all
till we meet again in the Eternal Kingdom of God.
Nick was professed 25 years ago on July 16, 2000 as a Third Order Carmelite!
Happy Anniversary Dear Nick
© 2025 Anita Guariglia
Photo Credits/ Pinterest and Instagram
Personal Photos of Nick/Anita Guariglia/ Peggy Hannon
Scripture Verses – “New Catholic Bible – St. Joseph Edition”
Ecclesiastes – Chapter 3 – Verses 1-8
Sacrificial love definition – catholic365.com
One Response
Happy 25th Anniversary to you, Anita, and thank you for fully living your Carmelite profession with holiness and love. You have enflamed many hearts with love…mine today with your heartfelt sentiments for your dear friend, Nick. Your hearts recognized in each other the same true love of God and our Blessed Mother that you both have given to others so freely.