I was scrolling through my Facebook posts and found one I wrote November 22, 2020. I had not remembered it. I thought it was worth posting here.
I had surgery Wednesday for kidney stones. Two. One on each side. Not the first time.
My pre-op nurse was a very nice and friendly young woman. She asked me to name one impressive thing I had done in my life. I said, “I have been married over 48 years.” I told her after spending so much time with your spouse, as we have done the last nine months, you come to realize you either love your spouse or you wonder how your marriage could have lasted so long. I realized I really love my wife.
I told her I had been taking my granddaughter out to practice driving. That prompted her to talk about her grandfather. He is 96 years old now. She said how, when she drove to California by herself from the east coast, he would call her every night to see how things had gone and to make sure she was safe.
She also made a comment about how hard it was to find things that make you happy with all that is going on with the virus. I heard her say that to another patient she was prepping after me. I had hoped to have a chance to talk with her some more before my surgery, but she was busy.
Today I got a phone call. It was my nurse calling to see how I was doing. I’m doing well. I told her she had mentioned to me and others how it was difficult during these Covid times. She said it is. I told her happiness and sadness are transitory in nature. Instead of looking for things that will make her happy to look for things that will bring her joy. I mentioned how she sounded joyful talking about her grandfather calling her every night on her cross-country trip. She perked up and shared how her family had a Zoom conference yesterday, Thanksgiving Day, and it was arranged by her grandfather. She said none of the rest of the family knew how to use Zoom, but her grandfather did.
Happy and sad are emotions that come and go. Joy is something that stays with us. We may not feel it all of the time, but we can recall things and relive the feelings we had. We can even experience joy when we are sorrowful. I grieved when my mother died. I still miss her. But I also have joy in my heart. She had Alzheimer’s Disease. Death was freedom for her.
Happiness and sadness and even sorrow end when we die. There is no sorrow or sadness in hell. Only hate. There is no sorrow in heaven. However, there is joy. Joy is eternal. We should always be looking for experiences in our lives that bring joy. We should be looking for experiences in our lives where we can bring joy to others. Joy helps nourish the soul.
For most Christians, Sunday brings the beginning of the season of Advent. Advent is a time of expectant waiting and preparation for both the celebration of the birth of Jesus as well as His coming again. It is a time to focus on joy. Joy for ourselves and joy for others. If you say you can find no joy in your life I would say, try doing something for someone else. Run an errand for a homebound neighbor or friend. Call someone you know who does not have family to cheer them up or whose family doesn’t visit them. By doing so you will experience both transitory happiness and deeply felt joy.
May this season of Advent bring you great joy.
Greg Gillen
Edited August 24, 2025
© 2025 Greg Gillen
Image Credit/Two Women Shall be Grinding at the Mill by Alfred Elmore (1815–1881)/victorianweb.org/painting/misc/elmore.html
First Sunday of Advent, November 30, 2025/Matthew 24:41 Two women will be grinding at the mill; one is taken and one is left.
Scripture/Revised Standard Version Second Catholic Edition/Ignatius Press
One Response
Thank you, Greg! With the most recent death of my dear mother-in-law, who suffered tremendously in the last season of her earthly life, it is a blessing of consolation for my wife and I to know, and be reminded, that death freed her from that suffering.