Ten years ago my wife Ellen and I started making plans for our burials. We were in our early sixties so we were not planning on fulfilling the eventual outcome anytime soon. It just seemed like the right thing to do.
We picked out two plots, one for me and one for Ellen, side by side. Ellen always wanted an upright marker so we got plots prepared for upright markers. The Catholic cemetery near us had some plots up a little hill. The cemetery also planted two vineyards in the extra land it had. Our plots face down the hill towards one of the vineyards.
We were helped by a woman named Irene. She took us up to look at the plots. They face east. I asked her if we could spend the night there sometime so we could see what it will look like when we rise during the Resurrection of the Dead? She didn’t realize I was joking and apologized saying she didn’t think so.
We started planning for an upright marker. I took a photo of a sample they had outside the office and started creating a mockup to show what we wanted. The marker was finally installed yesterday. You can see it above.
I couldn’t ask for a more perfect final marker. They did a great job. Why am I writing about this? Because the response from family and friends to this has been mixed. Negative responses are primarily addressed to the thought that this is not something someone should be doing so far in advance of one’s anticipated time of death.
Hogwash.
Anyone who knows me for even a short period of time knows that I am Catholic. If they have talked to me they know I believe what the Church teaches. Belief in the Trinity is first. Next is the belief in life after death and the hope of being in heaven. Death is not something to be feared and avoided at all costs. While we mourn the death of those we love we shouldn’t mourn the fact that they, hopefully, are being welcomed by God, either directly into heaven, or to purgatory. Either one is a win.
Many people shun the idea of death. They don’t want to think about it. I don’t think one should dwell on death. However, I don’t think it is something to be feared. On my side of the marker is a verse from John 14:31, Rise, let us be on our way. Ellen has a quote from the Prayer of St. Francis, “It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.” We know it is only our bodies that will lie in the ground. We, our souls, will not be there. Hopefully we will be safe in the arms of our Lord.
A previous version of the embolism said by the priest after the Our Father and before the doxology read, “Deliver us, Lord, from every evil, and grant us peace in our day. In your mercy keep us free from sin and protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ.”
I like the idea of waiting in joyful hope for the Second Coming. I believe my body will be reunited with my soul after Christ comes at the end of time.
Last October I posted an essay In Hope We Were Saved. In it, I quoted St. Ambrose as saying, “Without the assistance of grace, immortality is more of a burden than a blessing . . . . Death is, then, no cause for mourning, for it is the cause of mankind’s salvation.” I believe this. I do not look forward to death in the sense that I want it to come soon. I look forward with the knowledge my death will occur sooner or later. I do not know when nor do I want to know when. When it comes, I want those who survive me to not have to deal with decisions that will have to be made. Hopefully, the planning Ellen and I do now will save those we love from having to deal with making those decisions. We will have made them, and in so doing, we can also enjoy the fruits of some of those decisions.
Greg Gillen
June 13, 2025
© 2025 Greg Gillen
Image Credit/Greg Gillen
Scripture/New Revised Standard Version
