Twenty-five years ago I started directing people in the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius at the suggestion of my spiritual director. I directed them in retreats that would last about eight months. I did this for many years.
The first year I directed three people; a woman I taught in the parish RCIA program, a friend I had known for over thirty years and my sister. My spiritual director thought the results had been good and encouraged me to do it again.
The second year I did this only one woman signed up. I was supervised by my spiritual director as I was the year before. While we made it through the retreat I was not as satisfied with how it had gone as I had been with the retreats the year before.
I felt I was a failure.
During the retreat I met weekly with the woman in her house as she was suffering with a hip that eventually had to be replaced. She was married and she and her husband had converted their garage into a large office from which they could each work.
She was Catholic and he was Jewish.
We met in her living room. Sometimes I would see her husband, but mostly I did not.
Shortly after the retreat had been completed the woman told me her husband, Philip, had told her I was a man without guile. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if it was a compliment or a cut.
It was a compliment.
She told me Philip used to listen to our conversations when I met with her. I had no idea this was going on. I prayed I hadn’t said anything improper.
A short time later I found out Philip had decided to become Catholic. Great. I also found out Philip was diagnosed with a terminal illness. He would not be able to participate in the normal RCIA program.
Philip lived a few houses from the parish rectory. We had three priests at the time. The pastor, a retired priest in residence and an associate assigned to his first parish after his ordination.
Philip received intensive instruction from the priests.
Philip literally was Baptized, Confirmed and made his First Communion on his deathbed.
After he died I said to his widow, “Well, you can say you know a saint.” She replied, “That is what the pastor said.”
I do not know for sure, but I suspect Philip was influenced in part to become Catholic by what he heard when I was meeting with his wife.
I have to remind myself that God is able to do great things using us even though we are sinners.
I thought I had failed Philip’s wife. I may have. However, I now believe the wife was not the one God had me there for. I think he was using me to evangelize Philip.
I have written elsewhere that God provides the grace when we evangelize. He gives us the grace to set the good example and he gives the other the grace to be drawn by our example. I think this may have occurred here.
St. Philip, pray for me.
Greg Gillen
May 13, 2024
© 2024 Greg Gillen
Image Credit/Communion of Saints/Holy Cross Monastery