The Inevitable

A day, an hour, a moment, is approaching which will be the last both for you and me; and this hour, this moment, is already fixed by Almighty God; how then can we think of anything else but of loving God, who will then be our judge? Alas! what will my death be? O my Jesus and my judge! what will become of me when I shall have to appear before You to give an account of my whole life? – Death, Judgement, Heaven, and Hell: Meditations on the Four Last Things by Saint Alphonsus De Liguori

Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour. (Matthew 25:13)

Such Sadness

I’ve been contemplating the life and the recent death of my cousin, Donna. She was highly regarded as a brilliant, cutting edge fashion designer whose success spanned the country for decades from San Francisco to Cleveland. Over the years, her work was featured in some of the most prestigious trade magazines which, on four separate occasions, would merit the commission of one-of-a-kind silk and antique lace baptismal gowns for author, Danielle Steel.

Despite the hidden scars and scourges of our individual, long-suffered, generational brokenness that would normally stack the odds against any fruitful relationship – family or otherwise –  Donna and I were genuine friends. If I couldn’t answer the phone when she called, (usually in the middle of grocery shopping or cooking dinner) she would leave a novel-length text or a really long one-sided conversational voice message always prefaced with “Hi Brian, no need to call me back.”

We enjoyed fine food in trendy restaurants and a classic martini (or two or three). We planned on meeting for our traditional reunion on my annual return to Cleveland.

It was unusual and very concerning that she never answered my calls or replied to my texts to confirm our meeting time.

I’m genuinely grateful that the Holy Sprit prompted me to swing by Donna’s house. Her car was parked. The side and front doors to the house were locked. To no avail, I spent a good amount of time going from one door to the next in a denial-fueled hope that I would wake her if I just persisted in knocking and shouting her name. She didn’t open the door.

I called the local police department, who called the fire department, who summoned the medical examiner, who officially pronounced her death. It causes such sadness to know that the last time we were in touch by call or text was a full two weeks before my arrival.

Donna went to sleep for the last time on earth not knowing that her soul would rise before the throne of God to give an account of her whole life.

Just Judge and Merciful Savior

It’s certain that Donna stood before Christ as just Judge and merciful Savior.

Like all members of our family, Donna was a baptized Catholic. By virtue of that Baptism, I generously shared the Faith of our Fathers with her in the framework of our relationship. I often spoke with her of the healing power of Christ found in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and in our forgiveness of one another, in order to mend the wounds of estrangement in our family. She did not die without being lovingly reminded over the years that Jesus is really and truly present in the Holy Eucharist.

I placed my petitions for her on the holy altar of the Mass and I frequently whispered her name while passing the beads of the rosary through my fingers.

O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, and lead all souls to heaven, especially those most in need of Thy mercy. – Fatima Prayer

I entrust Donna’s soul now, as I did in life, to God’s unfathomable mercy.

The Mercy of God

Donna’s death reminded me of the importance of examining our conscience at the end of each day.

It’s a gift of God’s mercy that our sins be revealed to us.

A sincere Act of Contrition is a simple discipline to bridge the gap between sleep and the first opportunity to formally confess our venial and mortal sins. The conditions and grave consequences of mortal sin are summarized here and here.

Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Genuine sorrow for sin is a necessary condition for the forgiveness of sin. Love requires that we ask if we consciously presume God’s mercy while habitually committing the same sin. This is the sin of presumption and it’s also a matter of confession.

As a baptized Catholic, with genuine sorrow for sin, we can seek God’s mercy and obtain forgiveness in the Sacrament of Reconciliation and, like the Prodigal Son, return to the Father’s loving embrace.

…and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 Jn 1:7-9)

Our Tender Mother

Donna loved my love of our Blessed Mother. During my trip to Cleveland in 2012, she surprised me with a visit to the Cleveland Museum of Art where an extremely rare 15th century icon, Virgin Eleousa (Virgin of Tenderness), was on display.

From the Cross, Jesus entrusted all of humanity, through John, to the loving care of Mary, as our tender, spiritual mother. (John 19:26-27)

It is a role she carries out for the sake of those who are in danger and who need temporal favours and, especially, eternal salvation: “By her maternal charity, she cares for the brethren of her Son, who still journey on earth surrounded by dangers and difficulties, until they are led into their blessed home.” – Pope John Paul II, General Audience, 24 September, 1997 (Lumen gentium, n. 62).

Pray For Us, O Holy Mother of God, That We May Be Made Worthy of the Promises of Christ.

Jesus Knocks

Far more important than opening the the door for me, I hope that my dear cousin invited Jesus inside to dine together before she drifted off to her last earthly sleep.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. (Revelation 3:20)

Donna’s death reminds us that we truly do not know the inevitable day or hour.

While we still have breath in our lungs, we must rise to unlock the door of our heart and cry to Jesus from the depth of our soul…

Pardon me, I beseech You, before that moment arrives which will decide my happiness or misery for eternity. I am sorry for having offended You, my sovereign good. Until now I have not loved You; but now I will love You with my whole soul. Grant me the grace of perseverance. O Mary, refuge of sinners, have pity on me! – St. Alphonsus De Liguori

Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen

© 2024 Brian Kravec

Brian is a cradle Catholic, husband and father. He’s a writer, speaker, and the Co-Founder and Executive Director of Possibility Productions, a 501(c)(3) faith event evangelization apostolate in service of the Body of Christ.